whoaaaaaa-ohhhhhhhh i’m still alive

I passed a kidney stone on Wednesday—it was the most excruciating experience I’ve ever and will ever have (until I pass another; this was my second, and I am too young). It’s reportedly the most painful event one can undergo and still survive—worse than broken bones, major surgery, giving birth, and getting shot. I like to think I have a considerable tolerance for pain. I’m also leery of telephones, doctors, and drugs. I called a nurse. Went to Emergency. And demanded pain-killers.

It took awhile taking pulse pressure temperature, “does this hurt? does this hurt? on a scale of one to ten” this is the worst pain I have ever been in “bloodwork’s coming shortly” give me something give me something give me something give me something finally sticking my arm. Lying on a bed, I felt better after a few minutes. Still in horrible pain… but better. A nurse checked up on me. I said the edge was gone.

She left and less than a minute later, I was on the bathroom floor screaming and throwing up half-naked in an open gown and feeling thin. And I am thin. But it felt like my bones were crawling out of my skin, and every single one of them was helpless.

Nurses and a doctor watched. You go to this place and they’re supposed to make you better. It’s a child’s thought, and I wanted my mother, sweating choking writhing knowing I shouldn’t bang my head against the wall, but I did, and screamed, and they watched. Once I’s back in bed they gave me another shot and I curled in the corner and everything was tense and white. I was there about two hours, and when I left, I was fine. They took more blood the next morning and I still felt fine, the insides of my elbows all chewed up and my body a bit weirded but not in any pain.

Drink lots of water and just hope, I guess.

My writer friend Kevin drove me to Emergency, waited for me in the lobby, and when it was all over, told me bright-sidedly, “Everything is research.” Yesterday I made him a cake thanking him for not letting me die, then we and company watched El Espinazo del Diablo / The Devil’s Backbone, the coolest film I’ve seen in a very long time. The copy on the back of the box was kinda lame (ghosts! sex! hidden treasure!) but it still looked promising, and… wow. Wow. Wow. A little too much gore for my weak insides, but it really wasn’t gratuitous, and and uh just watch it. Go.

I have a couple websites that really aren’t websites, made to drop links and show up in search engines. A few days ago I got an email wanting me to pay a company to host this site. Here’s an excerpt of the proposal:

I visited your web site on Deep Sticks band hosted at geocities. Your passion for this amazing band is brilliantly presented in this well tailored site. This design is impressive with elegant layout, easy navigation and well organized contents. My best compliments to you for hosting such an awesome site. I’m extremely impressed with the effort you have taken to set up this site. This site certainly deserves to reach out to a wider audience.

BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Unbelievable.

Site News: The Ministry has a cute addition. Giddy-up!