just for him

New favorite photo — a candid shot if you can believe I’d be so blissed out on my baby. We’re on our evening garden tour where we name the trees. Mulberry. Hickory. Steve. We pat the kale and whap the chimes and peer through the fence at adjacent lives. Sleep is still a nightmare, working from home is hard as hell, people are sick and dying and selfish and absurd and blah blah blah.

I didn’t know I could love so much.

Four and a half months on, Arthur and I remain in a daze, exclaiming to one another like it’s still brand-new, “I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!” His tiny furrowed brow. Oh god that smile. He just discovered his bottom lip and sucks it in like Mr. Magoo. I can’t with this kid. The way he beams and bobs bashful at the songs we sing.

Just wait till he learns we make them all up, on the spot, just for him.

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